Stress of Infertility: 6 Ways to Cope with It

This morning I was thinking about having a fertility mindset. What that means and how to cultivate it when you are dealing with the stress of infertility.

If your body is your baby’s first home, what do you want that home to be like?

We talk about nesting when you’re pregnant, but what about when you’re pre-pregnant?

Think about the current state of your mind and body. What are they each like?

If you aren’t sure, journaling can be a great way to explore and see where you’re at.

Mentally- how is your self-talk? Are you beating yourself up for not being pregnant already and thinking it will never happen? Or do you build yourself up with confidence and remind yourself that your baby is on the way?

Physically- are you feeling good and relaxed? Is there something you’ve been meaning to get checked out?

Are you tired and stressed? 

Anxious?

Lethargic?

Or are you generally happy?

Do you wake up refreshed and energized?

Then the questions become:

What do you want your baby’s first home environment to be like?

How can you create that?

I know this can be a major catch-22 since infertility treatments and IVF can all create lots of stress. Mentally, physically and emotionally. Infertility stress can come at you from all angles.

So then you have to figure out the best ways to handle any stress and anxiety that come up, from infertility and anything else.

You might already have some go-to stress relief strategies, which is great. But if you don’t or if they aren’t working as well as they used to then it’s a good time to try something new.

1. Journaling:

I’ve found that journaling is really helpful for getting thoughts out of my head and helps me to process and release them.

It’s a great practice when you see a pregnancy announcement, get bad news, or are just bumming.

Writing out positive affirmations can also help to shift a bad mood. If you need some ideas I have posts with affirmations for fertility, embryo implantation, egg quality, and endometriosis.

Even if I’ve written out everything that’s frustrating me I like to close out my journaling by jotting down a few affirmations to put me in a better mood.

(I’ve created several journal designs, including the one in the photo, available here.)

2. Talk:

You might find talking things out is better for you than writing. Ask someone you trust if they can listen to you for a few minutes. 

You can let them know you just need a sounding board and don’t need them to fix anything.

3. Therapy:

Seeing a professional could be a great option. Going through infertility can be traumatic. It can bring up lots of mental and emotional baggage, so getting help with processing all that can be really valuable.

This is similar to just talking, but a professional may be able to give you some more direct coping practices for your particular situation. It’s also a great option if infertility has put a strain on your relationship or marriage.

4. Meditate:

Meditation can help to release negative feelings and anxious thoughts. It helps you to become centered and can reinforce the belief that you are capable of having your baby.

I prefer guided meditations otherwise my brain just keeps going. Guided meditations can help you to focus, process, and release anxious thoughts.

Finding one you really like to start or end your day can make a huge difference.

5. Move Your Body:

This one is beneficial both physically and mentally.

Try to get some movement in every day in ways that are enjoyable to you. Don’t be afraid to mix it up or try something new. 

If you tend to go for HIIT workouts, try yoga.

You can also try pilates, barre, Callanetics, dance, resistance, or strength workouts. There are so many great videos online that you can enjoy right from home. 

If you’re doing stims or are in the 2ww you may need to keep to low impact activities like walking or yoga, but check with your doctor.

6. Start a New Hobby:

It’s really easy to go down the rabbit hole and get obsessed with all the fertility things. 

Suddenly your whole life is about fertility and getting pregnant.

What’s the best diet for fertility? Should you overhaul all the cleaning products you’re using? Was that a random cramp from ovulation or implantation? 

The questions you come up with alone can get overwhelming, but then you find you have trouble talking about anything else with your friends because this is your whole life now. 

I get it. 

Take a breath.

You are allowed to have a life outside of your fertility journey (ordeal, saga, or adventure).

Instead of getting overwhelmed and stressed, I encourage you to try new things and find something that brings you joy.

That’s the only purpose of this new hobby- it needs to bring joy.

This will give you something that you can look forward to and be happy doing just for yourself.

Here are some ideas:

• gardening
• painting
• learn to crochet or knit
• foster kittens
• cooking
• making candles
• gaming
• write fanfiction
• make ribbon wreaths
• learn nail art
• try archery
• play golf
• learn to sew
• play a musical instrument
• learn a new language

There are so many hobbies that you can try. I love ones that spark creativity because I feel like aligning with that creative energy can help with manifesting.

Gardening or caring for animals lets you nurture, which you’ll be doing as a mom too. If you’re looking forward to nurturing your baby, this is a great way to feel that now.

If it works out that one of those hobbies is ideal for you, that’s great, but the main criteria here is that you have fun doing your hobby.

Ultimately, try something new just for you.

An activity that has nothing to do directly with fertility.

This is just for you.

Release the Stress of Infertility :

These tips should help you to start feeling more relaxed and balanced in your life and less stressed from infertility.

Try at least one of them this week. Give yourself that gift.

You deserve joy in your life right now. Right where you are.

Your baby wants you to be happy.

Gift yourself the time and space now to figure out what helps you deal with stress and anxiety.

That way when your baby is here you can enjoy that time with them even more.

Let me know in the comments below, what is the best way you’ve found to deal with infertility stress?

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