IVF Cycle Canceled? What to Do Next

Have you had an IVF cycle canceled recently?

Girl, I’m with ya. It sucks. It just does.

Your hopes are up that this will be the cycle you finally get that beautiful, positive pregnancy test.

You’ve already been injecting yourself with expensive meds daily and your hormones are going crazy.

Then all those hopes come crashing down.

Your hormones are off. Your follicles had stopped growing. Or a global pandemic hits. Just the basics 😉.

Please note that I am not a medical professional and am giving information based on my own experiences only – not medical advice. Always consult your doctor or medical professionals. Full disclaimer available here.

Why Would an IVF Cycle be Canceled?

Obviously due to Covid and how your state is faring at the moment your clinic may have to close. 

More likely your doctor will cancel your IVF cycle if you don’t have enough follicles, your egg follicles aren’t growing big enough, or if they stop growing.

Low estrogen levels, high estrogen levels or a sudden drop in estrogen levels can also cause your doctor to cancel your IVF cycle.

And of course illness can also result in cancellation.

Do ask your doctor questions as you are going through the process. Don’t be afraid to ask for details. This is your health and investment on the line.

Just because you have to cancel this cycle doesn’t mean the same thing will happen for future IVF cycles.

Your clinic should refine the process to fit your needs based on how your body responds to medication, timing and everything else involved.

This post may contain affiliate or referral links where I earn commissions from qualifying purchases made through links on this post at no additional cost to you.

What to Do After an IVF Cycle is Canceled

During the stay at home orders was my second time to have a cycle cancelled and while I handled it much better this time, the same thoughts and emotions bubble to the surface.

It’ll never happen. This is such a waste of time. Ugh! I can’t believe I have to wait even longer now.

Your inner dialogue might even go to some pretty dark places. 

So how do you pick yourself up and start moving forward again?

Here are 5 things you can do if your IVF cycle is cancelled:

1. Feel Your Feelings

Let yourself feel what you’re feeling. It doesn’t do any good to just suppress everything only to have it explode out later.

This isn’t the time to say “I shouldn’t feel {emotion}.” You have a very good reason to feel the way that you do.

Cry it out, pout in bed, have a full blown pity party if that’s what you need. Talk things out with someone or write out everything that you’re feeling. Journaling can help- don’t censor yourself, just get everything out.

Take the time you need to mourn. Having an IVF cycle canceled is disappointing. But here’s the key- set a time limit for yourself. If you need an hour, day or even a week- take it.

You know what you need. 

But once it’s done you have to pull yourself back together and get back to it. This is not the end of your journey, it’s the middle.

You are too amazing to waste your time in loathing and self pity. You have things to do and miracles to create.

2. Bash Limiting Beliefs

Identify the negative thoughts or limiting beliefs that come up for you. By doing this you can prove to yourself why they are wrong and recognize why the opposite is true.

What thoughts are you telling yourself? 

I’m not meant to be a mom.

I don’t deserve kids.

Do you really believe these statements? If yes, why?

Now look at why these statements are completely wrong.

Why are you meant to be a mom? You are already putting your babies first. You’re doing everything you can to bring them to you. Just having the desire in your heart means you are meant to be a mom. You are brave and strong. 

Why do you deserve kids? Because you have the desire to care for and raise kids. You have a heart and home filled with love for your little ones. You make amazing cupcakes and can plan awesome birthday parties.

Whatever belief you hold you will find reasoning to support it. Why not look for the reasoning that supports your desires?

Now write out the opposite of those initial statements.

I am meant to be a mom.

I do deserve kids.

Make a list of these new beliefs and post it where you will see it everyday.

Repeat them often to yourself.

Write them on sticky notes and post them all around your house.

Do this exercise in your journal whenever you’re feeling sad.

Doing this might seem silly, but it’s a great way to feed yourself confidence with positivity and it’s a much better use of time than dragging yourself down into a pit of despair.

Which do you think is going to get you closer to your goals?

Pit of despair or boost of confidence? Choose wisely.

3. Identify the Actual Facts

Your inner mean girl may start feeding you a load of garbage. You’ve gotta look out for this because she can be a sneaky b.

She’ll incorporate facts or past experiences. She might also say its just “being realistic.”

Watch out for this phrase. It should trigger alarm bells in your head.

“Being realistic” is often just an excuse to justify negativity and being cruel to yourself. Enough of that. 

A positive outcome is just as likely as a negative one. 

Let me repeat that.

A positive outcome is just as likely as a negative one.

So set aside that bias and take a little looksie at what is actually true.

Here are the facts I wrote down after this IVF cycle was canceled:

Fact: I have 3 good eggs right now.

I’ll ovulate in the next few days.

I can still get pregnant this month.

We are healthier now than for previous cycles.

Now, what can you do if some of your facts are not inspiring? Take them a little further.

Fact: I have endometriosis, but women get pregnant with endo all the time.  Pregnancy is great for healing endo.

Fact: I’m X years old, but women are having babies every day at this age. I’m a spring chicken! 

Remind yourself of these actual facts as often you’d like. 

Write them out on a sticky note and post on a mirror or your computer monitor.

It’s easy to go down the rabbit hole of “It’s never going to happen and here’s why…” but you deserve better than that. Change that stinkin thinkin to “it is happening and here’s why…”

4. Write Yourself a Pep Talk

Pretend like it’s the future and you have your baby in your arms. What would you tell your past self? Write it out in your journal and re-read this pep talk when you’re feeling down.

Here’s one I wrote:

Hey Beautiful,

I know this sucks. It’s not fair. But you are strong. Stronger than you even know or realize right now. You are brave and courageous. You are loving and determined. These qualities are not going away. They are being strengthened and honed. 

These are the things that already make you an incredible mom. Yes. With everything you are doing and have done for your babies already, you, beautiful, are a mom.

Your love for these babies grows stronger each and every day. With each injection, each ultrasound, each appointment and blood draw you are honing in on your mothering superpowers.

This journey requires an inner strength that most women will never know. You have this strength inside of you. With this strength you can make it through anything.

I need you to trust that this is happening. Your baby is coming and you are becoming the perfect mom for this special little one. You are going to feel so much joy, like nothing you have felt or imagined.

Feel in your heart the truth of this. Let this truth and strength wash over you. Feel it fortify you and wear it as armor.

You are a powerful creator and miracle maker.

You have got this.

I love you.

You may want to write several pep talks out for yourself. You can even record a voice memo speaking your pep talk to listen to whenever you’re feeling down.

5. Double Down on Positive Messaging

Really take caution of what you’re feeding your mind. Now is not the time to inundate yourself with depressing news stories. You can take a few minutes to get informed, but you don’t need to only listen to the news all day every day.

So turn off the news, unfollow or mute anyone on social media who frustrates you or limit your time on those sites.

Take time for hobbies or activities that you love and fill you with joy.

What did you enjoy doing as a kid?

Some great ways to fill yourself with positive vibes:

• Watch funny or happy movies and shows. Comedies, chick flicks, hallmark movies are all fun choices.
• Read fun books. Lighthearted beach reads or romances are great. I’d recommend the Sweetbriar Cove series by Melody Grace.

• Listen to uplifting podcasts.
• Play happy, fun music. Create a playlist of music that makes you smile or that you enjoy dancing to.
• Write out positive affirmations. Write them daily in a journal or on index cards or sticky notes that you can post everywhere.
• Meditate. Circle + Bloom has some great programs I like their IUI/IVF program which has a series of meditations for each phase of your cycle. Use this referral link to get 15% off your purchase.

• Go to the park for a long walk or play on the swings.
• Go on a date with your partner. Wear your favorite outfit and enjoy each other’s company.
• Get a massage.
• Try fertility yoga. YogaYin on YouTube is one of my favorites. She is so nice and has a large selection based on different issues. Most of the moves are beginner friendly and low impact.

Maintain Your Joy

The fertility journey is a crazy one and with all the medication manipulating your hormones, having some go to moves to shift your mindset can be incredibly powerful.

Just because you’re in a frustrating situation doesn’t mean you have to be miserable.

You deserve to be happy and to live your life to the fullest. You deserve to thrive.

These strategies will help you to find joy and balance in all the chaos. 

You’ve got this.

Have you had an IVF cycle canceled? What helped you get your mindset back on track before the next one? Let me know in the comments.

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