How to Stay Positive When Trying to Conceive and Get Your Period

When you’ve been trying to conceive for a while, getting your period can be devastating. And you may be wondering just how to stay positive when trying to conceive but you got your period.

Not only are you mourning the loss of what you hoped for (your BFP, finally), you may be dealing with lots of physical pain, especially if you have endometriosis.

If you get an unwelcome visit from Aunt Flo instead of that big, fat positive you’ve been praying for, all sorts of thoughts may start swirling around.

Thoughts like: 

I’m not good enough (You are more than good enough.)

It’ll never happen. (It can happen.)

Maybe I don’t deserve to be a mom. (You do.)

Why me? (Not sure, but it’s making you so strong.)

This isn’t fair. (It’s not. At. All.)

I get it. I’ve had all those thoughts and more, too.

There have been times all I could do is curl up in a ball of pain and ugly cry until no tears were left. It’s easy to slip into a dark place of despair. When you’re in the thick of it, it’s harder to pull yourself up and keep moving. To motivate yourself to keep going and trust that you’re almost to your goal.

If you need to take some time to grieve, that’s okay. Feel the feelings so you can let them go.

Not everyone will understand. 

That’s okay too.

This is your experience.

In the next section, I’m going to share some thoughts and actions that have helped me to keep going and stay in faith even when another day 1 of my cycle starts.

If you aren’t ready to read them, then please save this post for later so that you can come back to it.

Please note: I am not a medical professional. This content is for informational purposes only and is not intended to treat or diagnose any conditions. Always consult your doctor or medical professionals. Full disclaimer available here.

7 Tips to Stay Positive When Trying to Conceive

1. I’m still in the game. 

When day 1 comes along you may feel down but you are not out.

You are still in the game. 

Of course, it’s disappointing but if you are still experiencing periods then you are not in menopause. That’s a good thing when TTC.

The truth is that if you haven’t gone through menopause, are getting regular cycles, and have all your reproductive parts, then you getting pregnant is totally possible. 

Heck, Jessica Simpson got pregnant with only one fallopian tube while her opposite ovary was ovulating. Twice. (She talks about it in her book, Open Book.)

Even if it seems like a tiny percentage it is a possibility.

2. I am 1 day pregnant.

Pregnancy is calculated beginning with day 1 of your cycle. So when you conceive later in the month this will be the day your doctors will use to calculate how far along you are and your due date. 

Day 1 of your period is also day 1 of your pregnancy. 

Which thought makes you feel happier?

Try using this every day going through the month. 

On your first day of full flow say, “I am 1 day pregnant.”

On the second day say, “I am 2 days pregnant.”

You can do this each day of your cycle.

3. Journal it out.

Journaling is great for getting all your feelings out. When I write things out my mind releases them and I’m no longer holding them within me and thinking about them over and over again. 

Writing helps me to process and release my feelings. I’m able to let go rather than suppress and push everything down.

I’ll usually start by writing what I’m feeling and then going into why. Then I’ll go into how I want to feel and what I want to experience instead. This can help work through the negative emotions so that you can move into feeling positive while you are trying to conceive.

4. Meditate

I prefer guided meditations since trying to sit still and not think about a million things at once just doesn’t work for me. Maybe one day.

What I’ve noticed is that when I take the time to do a meditation, even just 5-10 minutes, it helps me to focus on the present rather than going down the ‘what if’ rabbit hole.

If you’re feeling down, I’d recommend searching for ‘meditation to release the past or negative emotions.’ 

Then when you feel up for it, try a meditation for calling in your spirit baby.

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5. Create a self-care ritual.

This could be getting your nails done or taking a nice long bubble bath with a glass of your favorite wine. Maybe it’s watching a movie or reading a good book. Perhaps getting out in nature and going for a walk.

Self-care can even be saying ‘no’ to events and tasks that will cause stress or make you feel bad. (You don’t have to go to that baby shower, babe.)

Have something in place that you can look forward to no matter what result you get from a pregnancy test. 

For example, I’ll have a bottle of wine ready but I also have a bottle of sparkling juice ready for celebrating that long-awaited positive. Either way, I’ll have a fun beverage to enjoy.

Self-care is a great way to help you stay positive when trying to conceive. It lets you practice self-love which you and your body deserve.

6. Focus on positive messaging.

Watching the news, or spending too much time on social media with people complaining or arguing probably won’t help you feel better about your situation. Take time to just immerse yourself in things that bring you joy and make you feel good. 

You can surround yourself with positive, uplifting music, podcasts, or videos.

Marisa Peer has some great content for manifesting pregnancy and a healthy baby. Her book, Trying to Get Pregnant (and Succeeding) is a great read.

And you may enjoy this video. She talks about beliefs that might be in the way and then goes into a meditation.

And I also really liked Spirit Babies: How to Communicate with the Child You’re Meant to Have by Walter Makichen.

What books have helped you? 

7. Gather info.

I know that it seems like getting your period is the worst thing that can happen, but your period is an indicator of your health. 

Start keeping track of your periods- what symptoms do you have? How is the pain? What color is your flow? Bright red, or dark? Do you have large clots or very few clots?

When you know these things it can help you and your doctor to figure out what is going on with your body and how to optimize your health.

Use this time to learn about your health. The more you can optimize your health, the better you’ll feel and the more prepared you will be for your pregnancy.

If you did something different this month, what was it, and did you notice a difference in your cycle?

I notice mine are much better after months where I’ve done consistent movement every day. For me, that means exercising at least 20 minutes most days. It’s even better when I get in an hour or more most days. 

(That might seem like a lot, but we walk our pups daily and that’s at least 20 minutes right there. Then I’ll do 20-45 minutes of cardio or strength a few times a week and finish the day with some gentle yoga or stretching before bed.)

RELATED: Fertility Affirmations

Give Yourself Space so You Can Stay Positive While Trying to Conceive

The most important thing is really to listen to your body and give yourself time and space. You’re a human. So feel the things you need to feel. Then decide how you want to feel next and show up as that person. 

I’ve had many times where I’ve said, “I shouldn’t be feeling… this.” or “I’m so tired of feeling… that.” 

Beating yourself up because of your real, valid, human emotions isn’t what your baby wants for you. 

Baby probably wants you to be happy and excited to welcome her into your life. Journaling, meditating, and positive thoughts or messaging are great ways to let go of the past and start visualizing the future you want.

These things can help you to stay positive when trying to conceive but you got your period.

What are your favorite period hacks for staying in faith while TTC?